Cancer Jokes / Recent Jokes
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face. Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news. Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first. Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live. Guy: And the bad news? Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Guy: Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
Dear Santa,
We're worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your
legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world,
you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits
that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts.
The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society in
Barrington, Illinois. Dermatologist Dr. Jerome Litt says you have
"a clear-cut case of rosacea," a skin condition that also affects
millions of Americans, particularly at middle age. Unable to
examine you personally, the good doctor based his finding on a
well-circulated report that your "cheeks were like roses, (your)
nose like a cherry."
Sadly, many observers conclude that red-skin condition comes from
hitting the Christmas-punch bowl a little too hard. Sadder still,
rosacea can be aggravated by holiday stress, hot chocolate and
overexertion... all things you may encounter this time more...
An old guy goes to the doctor for his annual exam, and the doctor returns with bad news.
The doctor says, "Well, I am sorry to inform you of this, but you have cancer and you have Alzheirmer's. There is nothing we can do."
The man says, "It could be worse. At least I don't have cancer."
According to an American Cancer Society report, an increasing number of people are dying of lung cancer in Third World countries due to smoking.
Researchers said smoking in the Third World reduces the average life span by an hour.
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news. Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live. Guy: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Guy: Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news. Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first.Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live. Guy: And the bad news? Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease. Guy: Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face:
Doctor: "Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news".
Guy: "Well, give me the really bad news first"
Doctor: "You have cancer, and only 6 months to live"
Guy: "And the bad news?"
Doctor: "You have Alzheimer's disease."
Guy: "Thank god. I was afraid I had cancer!"