Capital One Jokes

The Emperor - sorry, the President - has quietly claimed sweeping new powers allowing him to open Americans' mail without a judge's warrant.

Sources say he'll use this new authority to finally get his own Capital One "No Hassle Rewards" card.

I carry a picture around with me, that of me fucking the CEO of Capital One in the ass, just like he's done to me all these years.
What's in your wallet?