Carabao Jokes

Here we are on Guam.
Without a hope of snow.
But though the spreading palms.
A typhoon sure can blow.
Santa Clause will know,
What the tropics will allow.
Instead of riding eight reindeer,
He'll ride a carabao.

Chorus:
Ohh, Jungle Bells, coconut shells,
Sticker burrs all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a two wheeled carabao sleigh.

Be watchful everyone
He'll send a telegram,
That today he'll be on Guam.
Send out by Uncle Sam
Santa will be here
To see what you have done
So let's all greet him. Ha! Ha! Ha!
And join him in the fun.

Da night bepor Christmas
An all tru da house
Nating pas
Not eben a mouse.

Da children dey nossie
all snog on da ploor
An Mama puts newspepper
Tru da crack on da dor.

Den Mama in da stobe
Roost up da manuk
Steer up da adobo
An make bake da biko.

Den out on da rud
Dey got such a clatter
Soun like old manong
Pull down da ladder.

I run so past
To open da dor
I trip ober da dog
An pull down on da ploor!

As I look out da dor
In da light ob da moon
I thinking "apo, you cresy
I'm gitting old too soon."

Becus dere on da rud
Wer I turn my head
Dere's eight carabao
Pulling a sled
An a little driber
Wit a big ishtick
I know right away
must be St Nick.

Mob paster an paster
Da carabao dey come
He wistle an holler
An call dem by nim:
"Oy, Boogy!
Oy, more...

Twas the night before Christmas from our boondock house.
You could not hear a gecko, a shrewd or a mouse.
The zories(flip flops) were hung on the louvers with care,
In hopes that Guamanian Nick soon would be there.
The children were nestled in their G. I. Beds,
While visions of base housing danced in their heads.
With Mom in her bermudas and I in my shorts,
Had just settled back for the typhoon reports.
When out on the reef there arose such a clatter,
That I climbed a palm tree to see what was the matter.
Away mom flew to the window just like a flash,
No shutter to open, and of course there's no sash.
But the moon on the crest of the white drifting sand,
Gave a luster of mid-day to this remote is--land.
A vision is approaching, Ah! I see it now.
Why it's a miniature cart and eight carabao.
With a little old rider so lively and quick,
That I knew in a glance it was Guamanian Nick.
More rapid than more...