Carlson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing."Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.""Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?""Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him.
Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrent for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

Carlson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

"Your honour," he said, "I wanna get out a warrent for that dirty lawyer of mine."

"Why? " asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"

"Well, your honour," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why? " asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for? "
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

Political pundit Tucker Carlson recently went on CNN to comment on comedian Jon Stewart's blasting of CNBC, calling him a "partisan hack" and predicting that Stewart would become "so self-serious and sanctimonious that it's just a matter of time before he becomes unfunny."
Tucker Carlson is of course the former co-host of the CNN program "Crossfire," which had Stewart as a guest back in 2004. During his segment, Stewart had chastised Tucker for his own contribution to political discourse in this country, and also called him, to paraphrase: "a dick in a bowtie."
And the award for Swiftest Comeback goes to...