Carries Jokes / Recent Jokes

What might've happened:Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United more...

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girls father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?", he says. "Uh, thank you, sir." says Bobby.

Carries father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carries father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby so he asks Carries dad to repeat it. "Yeah" says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, Bobby doesn't quite know what to think, but his plan for the evening is beginning to look pretty good.

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she is ready to go. Almost more...

If an Asian girl was really Asian, she... be wearing platforms be wearing flares has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone carries a big-ass purse carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse knows everybody in town thinks she knows about cars, but really don't always be fiending for "pho" lies about her age when y'all first meet thinks she knows how to drive talks hella fast on your voice mail has a 800 or 888 number shares a 800 or 888 with her homies carries a pager for the time has money but is hella cheap when it comes to paying has taken studio pictures more than 7 times a month wears a(n) Nautica, Tommy, Polo, Nike, or Adidas jacket wears those fake-ass leather jackets is seen every week at the mall wear tight see-through shirts never goes anywhere without at least her homie or her cousin seems to be cousins with all the females in town drives hella crazy... cuz she can't reach the pedal all the way thinks she's fat... when she's like a little toothpick likes more...

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United more...

Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund`s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Akhund presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he`s finally had enough. "I`m headin` back home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We`ll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Akhund flies to the United more...