Cashier Jokes / Recent Jokes

I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and
after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill."I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy."But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned."I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."

Paddy decided to rob a bank. He got all the gear together - stocking mask, sawn-off shotgun, getaway car and so on - but he realised his accent would mark him out as Irish, so he took elocution lessons for almost a year until he could finally pass as an Englishman.

On the day of the robbery, he donned his mask, rushed into the bank and said, "I say there, I'm terribly sorry but this is a robbery. Be a good chap and fill this sack with lots of lovely lolly."

The cashier said, "you're Irish aren't you?"

Paddy was astonished. "How the divil did ye figure dat out?" he asked.
The cashier replied, "it was easy, you've sawn the wrong end off your shotgun!"

Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college so that she would not get angry. He was very happy and for months all was well. As fate would have it, one day in the grocery store check out lane, Mrs. Smith overheard a group of girls standing in line behind her talking about college and their instructor Mr. Smith. The girls went on and on about how great this Mr. Smith was at teaching their class. The cashier handed Mrs. Smith her change and said, "Have a great day Mrs. Smith, and thank you, again." One of the girls in line heard the cashier, and asked Mrs. Smith if she was related to the Mr. Smith that was teaching at the college. Mrs. Smith replied, "Yes, he is my husband." Well that set off a torrent of accolades about how more...

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat.

"Ned, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Ned.

"Now Ned," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."

"Oh yeah," Ned replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!"

"That so?" answers Bill, "How about the President of the United States?"

"Let's go!" says Ned.

The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, more...

Bill and sardarji walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Sardarji goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "hello sardarji! How are you? Hey everybody! Sardarji's here!" everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to sardarji. After everyone has greeted him, bill and sardarji sit down and begin to eat.

"sardarji, you're pretty popular!" says bill. "i'm the most popular man in the world," says sardarji.


"now sardarji," says bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."


"oh yeah," sardarji replies "i'll bet you a thousand dollars that i'm friends with anybody you can name!"


"that so?" answers bill, "how about the president of the united states?"


"let's go!" says sardarji.


The two fly to more...

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the checkout counter. The girl at the cash register said, ‘I’m sorry, but we cannot sell cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat. ’ The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demanded proof that she had a dog because old people sometimes eat dog food. She went home and brought in her dog. She then bought the dog food. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, ‘No, you might have a snake in there. ’ The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger in the box more...

Two blondes enter a drug store.
"
What kind of candy do you have here?"
asks the blonde.
"
Airheads."
replies the cashier.
"
What a jerk!"
yells the blonde as she starts slugging the cashier with her purse.
"
What are you doing?!?"
shouts the cashier.
"
Don't ever call us airheads!"
yells the blonde.
"
I was only telling you what kind of candy we have."