Cashier Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"

The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"

The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."

The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"

The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat. "Ned, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Ned. "Now Ned," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world." "Oh yeah," Ned replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!" "That so?" answers Bill, "How about the president of the United States?" "Let's go!" says Ned. The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Ned! How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!" The more...

A man and a woman have a child, and they need a crib, so they go to a crib factory store. This family is really poor, and they can only find cribs for $300. Then they find a crib for $20. They go up to the cashier and ask why. The cashier says its because it is cursed. The man and woman ask how it is cursed. The cashier replies, "After the 1st week of owning the crib, the mother of the child will die. After the 2nd week of owning the crib the child will die. And after the 3rd week the father of the child will die.(remember that last sentance)
The man and woman decide they don't believe the cashier, so they buy the crib anyway. A week goes by, and the woman dies. The man weeps. Another week goes by, and the child dies. The man weeps even more. Another week goes by, and the man trips over the dead mailman in front of his house.

One day, a blonde is out shopping and decides to stop in at a shoe store. After she's been there for awhile, she finds a pair of crocodile skin shoes that she loves. She asks the cashier how much they are, and when he answers, she decides that she can't afford them. So she leaves.
A few hours later, the cashier is driving home from work, when he sees the same woman on the side of the road, next to a huge body of water. He's a bit surprised, so he pulls over to see if she's okay. But before he has time to ask her, he notices she's got a huge gun in her hands, and is shooting into the water. Then he sees that she has a huge pile of dead crocodiles beside her.
She shoots into the water again, killing yet another crocodile, pulls it out and yells 'Damn! This one's not wearing shoes either!'

D E S M O I N E S, Iowa? Harpal Singh may have thought he'd seen the last of the man who just robbed him, but the suspect apparently had to get in the last word, police say.

When Singh, a clerk at a Citgo gas station, called police to report the heist, the suspect returned to the store and corrected his description.

Just as Singh told authorities the suspect was "5-something" in height, the suspect, Steven Hebron, told Singh, he was actually 6-foot-2, police said.

He also corrected the clerk when he said the robber was about 38 years old, according to the Des Moines Register "I'm 34," Hebron clarified.

The first time he left the Citgo Quik Mart last Wednesday evening, Hebron tried to run out with several cartons of cigarettes, police allege.

The bag ripped as he headed for the door, however, and Hebron's wallet fell on the floor, a cashier told authorities.

When the cashier yelled for help, Singh more...

One day, a blond went to the store and went to the candy section.
After a while the blonde went to the cashier with 15 bags full of lollipops. The cashier asked "Excuse me miss, but why do you need all those lollipops for?"
"I need to practice." Replied the blonde.

(Washington DC) Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
(Virginia) A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
(Washington DC) A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled - leaving his wallet on the counter.
(Virginia) A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle more...