Cashier Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is 'apparently' a true story.
A guy with a shotgun walked in to a small corner store and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier had placed all the money in a bag, the robber noticed a bottle of liquor he wanted on a shelf behind the counter. He demanded that the cashier put the bottle in the bag too, but the cashier refused and said, "I can't do that because I don't believe you're of legal drinking age."
The robber insisted that he was, but still the clerk didn't believe him and refused to give him the bottle. The robber then took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
After looking over the license, the clerk agreed that the robber was of legal drinking age and put the bottle of liquor in the bag. The robber then fled the store with his loot.
The clerk quickly called the police, giving them the name and address of the robber which he had gotten from the driver's license.
A couple of hours later the more...

A blonde sends her sister to pick up a bull.
She picks up the bull but now has no way to get home.So she goes to the post office to send out a telegram.
cashier: can i help you
Sister: yes, um.. how many words can i send with this much money?
cashier: one word.
(she thinks & thinks & thinks until she finds the perfect word)
Sister:comfortable
Cashier: why comfortable??
Sister: my sisters a dumb blonde, she will read it slowly!!!
(come-for-the-bull!!)

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict`s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you`re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "`Cause you`re more...

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.
The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Casher: "Well they must be for your sister then?"
Nine year old: "Nope, not for my sister either."
Cashier, curious now: "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised: "Your four year old little brother?"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer. The nun answered, "That would be good, but I'd be uneasy about purchasing it." The 1st nun said she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look on her face, so the nun said, "This is for washing our hair." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."

A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some rubbers. The
cashier asks, "What size?"
The man replies, "Size? I didn't know they came in sizes."
"Yes, they do," she says, "What size do you want?"
"Well, gee, I don't know," the man answers.
The lady is used to this, so she tells him to go to the back yard and
measure his dick by sticking it into each of the three holes in the fence.
While the man is back there, the lady sneaks around to the other side of the
fence and spreads her legs behind each hole as the man tests it. When the they
return, the cashier asks, "What will it be? Small, medium, or large?"
The man replies, "To hell with the rubbers, give me a hundred feet of
that fence back there!"
Chris Ott

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent
1 Bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
2 oranges
1 stick of women’s deodorant.
She then goes to the check out line.
Cashier: Oh, you must be single
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fucking ugly!