Catholicism Jokes / Recent Jokes

VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates."We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line more...

The state of the world had reached such cataclysmic proportions, that the religious leaders of the planet decided that it was time to get together and put past differences behind them. Only through godliness, it was felt, would the human race have a chance to survive. If believers in different faiths could get along, then all the non-believers in the world would follow suit.
A big conference was held in Geneva, which was attended by all the leaders of the world's major and not so major religions. However, it soon became apparent that the job at hand was not going to be as simple as they thought. After all, hadn't religion been the main cause for persecution, war and general bloodshed for thousands of years? All the participants decided that they would go away for six months in order to discuss matters with their co-religionists to look for compromises that could be made. In this way, it was hoped, believers would find other creeds more palatable.
For half a year, the whole more...