Cats Jokes / Recent Jokes
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks.What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done."What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe."What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive."What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip? What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone.What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard.What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are here to welcome me." - Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." – Colette
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." - Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." -Joseph Wood Krutch
Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning!
CAT MIRACLE DIET: Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet!
Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what con- stitutes food. Good Luck!
DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more than. 75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your more...
Why do black cats never shave? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.