Caught Jokes / Recent Jokes

A not so bright guy got a job in a factory and "the boys" soon befriended him. Just before lunch one day a fellow worker came up to him and said, "You notice how the boss has been leaving work early for lunch and comes back late the past few weeks? Well, I've been going home and spending time with my wife. You oughta try it."So our young friend snuck home, but as he entered his apartment, he could hear his wife and a man in his bedroom. Sneaking a peak into his bedroom, he caught his wife, with his BOSS in bed. Turning around, he quietly left the apartment and returned to work before his boss got back.The next day, after the boss left, his friend nudged him and said, "I guess thats my cue! You gonna sneak home again today?"To which our young friend replied, "Nah, I better not! I almost got caught yesterday!"

- A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
- Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
- You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
- Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
- You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
- Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
- The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
- Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
- Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
- Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
- Jaws of life needed to more...

A young man got a job in a local pickle factory. The older fellows he worked with were always teasing him and daring him to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Finally, not being able to take the ribbing and taunts any longer, he said he would do it.
No sooner had he put his penis in the pickle slicer than the foreman caught him and fired him on the spot. He went home and his wife asked why he was home so early. He said, "Well the guys have been making my life miserable by teasing me and daring me to put my penis in the pickle slicer. So today I thought I would shut them up and do it. The foreman caught me and he fired me."
She was very concerned, but he assured her that everything was normal and in workable condition. She said, "Well if you're okay, did anything happen to the pickle slicer?"
"Oh", he answered, "she was fired too."

A physics professor was very strict about attendance, and despised tardiness. Every student caught arriving to class late (especially those interrupting his lecture) was quickly reprimanded in front of the whole class. Students were quick to comment on the professor's genetics.
Well, one day a student entered through the front doors of the lecture hall, while the professor was writing notes on the chalkboard. The professor caught the student out of the corner of his eye (this acute sense of peripheral vision, further supported the rumors of his evolution), and turned to face the student. He demanded, "What do you think you're doing?"
Being a science student, one naturally thinks quickly, so the student snapped up and replied, "I came down from the back to get a better look at the board."
The professor smiled.

Arriving at the town hall seconds before closing time, a couple caught a judge as he was about to leave and asked him to marry them. The judge asked if they had a license, and when they said they did not, he sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up and managed to get a license from him.
When they returned to the judge, he looked the license over and pointed out to them that they had filled the names in backwards... her's where his should be, and vice versa. They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and obtained another license.
This time, the judge noted that the clerk had used the incorrect format when he filled in the date, so he sent them back to the clerk again.
After several reissued licenses, the judge finally appeared satisfied. "I hope you understand why I made you keep going back," he said. "Any irregularities in the license would mean that your marriage would not be legal. Subsequently, any more...

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim more...

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and thWork jokesed great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. ThWork jokesed fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.