Cause Jokes / Recent Jokes
Geez, what died in here? He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress. Nice service...where's the keg? When did he die...really...hey Bob, you won the pool!!! Hey, we're with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we're looking for...oh, never mind. Don't look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on. You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs. Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.
Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points.If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin."CLUES"1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.When I'm not well, I drip.When you blow me, I feel good.2. I'm spread before I'm eaten.Your tongue gets me off.People sometimes lick my nuts.3. I assist an erection.Sometimes big balls hang from me.I'm called a big swinger.4. Over 1,000 people went down on me.I wasn't maiden for long.A big hard thing ripped me open.5. You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up.I get wet before you do.6. When I go in I cause pain.I cause you to spit and ask you not to more...
A Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity. 2. Be cheerful at all times. Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get. 3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold. 4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced. 5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand. 6. Submit to novel experimental treatment readily. Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research more...
Three girls are sitting around, totally bored so one girl suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops.
"I want mine to be 7-Up, 'cause 7 days a week he's up."
"I want mine to be Mountain Dew 'cause when he's in between my mountains, we'll be doing it."
"Mine's gonna be Jack Daniel's."
"You can't do that. Here we are talking about soda pop and you're talking about a hard liquor."
"Exactly."
One day the blonde was driving down the road, When all of a sudden she swings her car from left to right left to right. After just about totaling the whole care she pulls to the near by Air-Port and waits for someone to come see her....About 30 minutes after a police officer came by and said "
May I help you Miss?"
The blonde says "
yes, I ran my car into some trees cause every where I went there was a tree."
the officer quickly says "
well mam that's inpossible cause there arent trees for another 30 miles"
It turns out the blonde thought her air freshener is the promblem ( the trees )
Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points. If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin." CLUES"1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. 2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. 3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. 4. Over 1, 000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. 5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit more...