Cautioned Jokes

"Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don`t you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don`t pass that truck - his tire is wobbling."
The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The incessant squealing of the CB irritated the wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked.
"Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I`m married."
----
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I`ve got a big problem doctor. Every time we`re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that`s completely natural. I don`t see what the problem is?"
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up."
----
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.
Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club into the hole while keeping the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing play to commence.
Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so as to avoid damage to the course.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible, until the course owner is satisfied.
Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by the course owner.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will admire the course, paying special attention to the well-formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played recently to the owner of more...

>> Rules for Playing Bedroom Golf
>>
>> 1. The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
>> club, and two balls.
>>
>> 2. Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.
>>
>> 3. Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club
into
>> the hole, while keeping the balls out.
>>
>> 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. The
>> course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing
play
>> to commence.
>>
>> 5. Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so
as
>> to avoid damage to the course.
>>
>> 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible,
>> until the course owner is satisfied.
>>
>> 7. Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by
the
>> course owner.
>>
>> 8. It is considered bad form to begin playing the more...

[This was posted on a bulletin board in a dorm at UNL. I don't know who
wrote it, sorry.]
The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally
one club and two balls.
Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.
Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club
into the hole while keeping the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before
allowing play to commence.
Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length,
so as to avoid damage to the course.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible,
until the course owner is satisfied.
Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by
the course owner.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will admire the
course, paying special more...