Celebrated Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? A: They put parking meters on the roof!
A young couple were married and celebrated their first nighttogether, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, allnight long. Morning comes and the groom goes into thebathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. Whenshe gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposinghis body for the first time to his bride. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stoppedand stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a smallpart of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that'swhat we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
A young couple were married and celebrated their first nighttogether, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, allnight long. Morning comes and the groom goes into thebathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower.He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. Whenshe gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposinghis body for the first time to his bride.Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stoppedand stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a smallpart of his anatomy.He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that'swhat we had so much fun with last night."And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:
"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth
II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, Commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine
whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing more...