Cents Jokes / Recent Jokes

Customer: How much is that banana for?

Salesperson: $1. 00

Customer: Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?

Salesperson: At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer: Okay I will buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.
After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids more...

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but more...

A little boy went into a bakers How much are those cakes? he asked Two for 25 cents, said the baker How much does one cost? asked the boy 13 cents, said the bakerThen Ill take the other one for 12 cents! said the boy

While walking home one night, Tom was suddenly jumped by a thief. The two of them began to wrestle and roll around on the ground.
Although Tom put up a tremendous fight, the thief managed to get the best of him and pinned him to the ground.
After going through Tom's pockets and searching him, all the thief found was 25 cents.
Surprised at this, the thief asked Tom why he bothered to fight so hard for a mere 25 cents.
"Was that all you wanted?" Tom asked. "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I have hidden in my shoe!"