Cessna Jokes

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the more...

Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!"Cessna: "Uh... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."

This Flight instruction and her student were hold on the runway, awaiting clearance for take off from the tower, when suddenly, a deer darts out of the nearby wood, and stops right in the middle of the runway.
The student asks the instructor, what should he do? The Instruction replies, "What do you think you should?"
"Maybe I should taxi toward the deer?"
The instructor replies "Thats a good idea!"
Tower: "Cessna 100 clear for take-off" (taxis toward the deer, but the deer just stands there, holding postion)
The student repeats his question, and gets reply this time suggestion he contact the tower: "Tower, Cessna 100. There a deer here on the runway!"
Tower: "Roger 100, hold postion, Deer on Runway 50, cleared for immediate takeoff."
Two seconds later then deer takes off (back toward the woods).
Tower: "Cessna 100 cleared for take-off runway 50, caution wake tuburlece, departing deer!"

Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.

Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"

Cessna: "Uh... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."

PILOT: “Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. ”
TOWER: “Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!! ”
PILOT: “Uh…tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is. ”