Chain Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the doctor`s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor`s words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend more...
This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost a thing. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.
Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.
At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, 4 of whom were worth keeping.
REMEMBER - this chain brings luck.
One day a man forwarded this letter and the next day he received the woman who had been named Hooter of the Year at the restaurant chain. An Alaska man was able to choose between a massage therapist and a nymphomaniac chef.
You can be lucky, too, but don't break the chain!! One more...
Once Santa Asked Banta Why Madras' Name Changed To Chennai. Banta Said That It Suits Their Outfit. Santa Asked How. Then The Banta Said That Because In Madras Many People Don't Wear A Pant, They All Wear A Lungi With No Chain. So Madras Was Given This Name Because People Wear Lungi With Chain Nahi (Chennai).
Dear Sister,
This letter was started by a woman in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented females. Unlike other chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy to 5 of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband/boyfriend.
Send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list you will receive 16,877 men and one of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have.
Do not break the chain.
One woman broke the chain and got her own bastard back.
At this writing a friend of mine has already received 184 men.
They buried her yesterday, but it took 3 undertakers 36 hours to wipe the smile off her face and 3 days to get her legs together to close the coffin.
Have faith!
Liberated woman...
Dear Sister, This letter was started by a woman in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented females. Unlike other chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy to 5 of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband/boyfriend.Send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list you will receive 16,877 men and one of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have.Do not break the chain.One woman broke the chain and got her own bastard back.At this writing a friend of mine has already received 184 men.They buried her yesterday, but it took 3 undertakers 36 hours to wipe the smile off her face and 3 days to get her legs together to close the coffin.Have faith! Liberated woman...
A sardar/>; and a Bengali were travelling in the same railway compartment. It was very hot and the Bengali was having trouble undoing the steel strap of his wristwatch. The sardar went across and with one mighty jerk undid the buckle.' You Bengalis should eat gehoon (wheat]. It makes you strong.'
The Bengali did not appreciate the advice. A few minutes later he grasped the alarm chain and pretended to be unable to pull it. Once again the sardar leapt to his assistance and pulled the chain with a triumphant yell:' There! You Bengalis should eat...'
The train came to a halt. The conductor, accompanied by a couple of policemen, asked the sardar to explain why he had pulled the chain and on his failure to do so, fined him Rs. 50.
After they had left, the Bengali gently advised the sardar,' You Punjabis should eat rice. It is better for the brain.'
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asks
the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain
around?
The man answered " HEY! you ever tried pushing one of these
things!!"