Chain Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asksthe man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chainaround? The man answered " HEY! you ever tried pushing one of thesethings!!"
There are four basic types of chain letters:~~~Chain Letter Type IHello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starvinglittle boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no parents, and no pecker. This little boy's life could be saved, because for everytime you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Starving LeglessArmless Parentless Peckerless Little Boys from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent. So go on, reach out.Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder- if youaccidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly and a madgoat will rape your dead body. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type IIIHi there! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This isabsolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not asmany little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Passthis on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible willhappen to you like:Queer Horror Story #1Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recentlyreceived this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in theside walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood ofpoop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!! Queer Horror Story #2Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, somepeople swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University). They bothdied and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were more...
Several years ago, and this story is true, I was riding "shot gun" with a friend on a Road Train.(For our foreign readers - a road Train is a Prime Mover with up to 5 Trailers and they are regularly used for transporting goods and livestock in outback Australia).
We were moving cattle from a cattle station near the Alice up to Katherine and onto Darwin. Nothing special until we were flagged down by a couple of indigenous Australians who had run out of petrol about 250 just outside of Katherine. We pulled up and went back to see what the problem was and they pleaded up to tow them into town(Katherine) we laughed and said that they were crazy to want our truck to tow an old rust bucket of a Ford 250 KM on a dirt road.
Anyway they managed to convince Pete and they produced a large chain and Pete said that the chain would rip the front off the car, because a chain has no give in it and so Pete came up with a tow rope that they could use. They eagerly pushed more...
Chain Letter Type IVAs if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of yourfriends.Friends- A friend is someone who is always at your side,- A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog,- A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,- A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,- A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,- A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, - Afriend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry that's the cleaning lady, Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room inyour sleep! There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chainletters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send it more...
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.
Chain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!!(This is where you have to scroll down)Really, go on and make one wish!!! Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!! Not *that* either, you pervert! Is your finger getting tired yet? You Can Stop now moron!!! Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to a certainnumber of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat andthen thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE! Really!!! Here's how it goes.Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them astupid chain letter.Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending thema stupid chain letter.5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupidchain letter.10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at more...