Charge Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "Youre in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "Youre in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "Youre in charge of supplies."The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didnt you sweep any of it?"The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didnt I tell you to shovel that sand?"The Scotsman more...

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution.

The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict.

When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter.

"Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him."

These are actual signs found around the world...
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A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.
At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At an optometrist's more...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?.... What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was more...

The attractive governess, with her small charge in tow, left the park to visit her boyfriend in his hotel room. They embraced warmly and each longed for intimacy, but there seemed to be little they could do with the child watching. Then the governess hit on an idea.
"Bobby," she said to her small charge, "go look out that window and I will give you a dime for every red hat you see."
Delighted with the new game, Bobby ran to the window and stared intently at the passersby below.
Almost a minute passed before Bobby's voice popped up with, "I see a red hat!"
"That's nice," came the governess' muffled reply.
"There's another one," said the boy a short time later.
"Keep counting," the woman managed to say.
"Oh, governess," Bobby exclaimed suddenly.
"What now?" she asked, breathing heavily.
"I just wanted to tell you that this is going to be the most expensive more...

A young boy went to buy bread at Soma Akka's shop. Soma akka is well known for cheating and she got the young boy infront of her. So Soma akka decided to cheat him. She said, putha, appi ottuwak allamu. if you say correct answer, I will give the bread for free of charge. But if you failed, I will charge the cost of Rs 10. 00 and will not give the bread.
Young guy was wondering and agreed. He said, I agree and what is the question. Soma akka asked the young guy, can you tell me exactly where is my p... y? Young guy was laughing and thought he can win and get the bread for free of charge. he said, it is in your front side. Soma akka was laughing and turned around and shown her back by bending half. Young guy was upset and he was able to see her p... y.
He lost his 10. 00 and went back to the house. Mother asked, putha where is the bread. Young guy said, he lost the money on his way to the shop. And the next day morning again mother asked, putha go and bring bread from the more...

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in more...