Charley Jokes / Recent Jokes

These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares" game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems like it sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does more...

Two guys are susposed to meet at 4: 30. Charley shows up at4: 30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5: 00, Paul shows up andCharley says, "Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late." Paul replies, "Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick'sbeen hurting bad." Charley says, "If your dick's been hurting, why did you goto the dentist?" Paul answers, "Because I had a tooth stuck in it."

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work.

But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers.

She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.

"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry more...

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldnt figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type Happy Birthday

Two guys are susposed to meet at 4: 30. Charley shows up at 4: 30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5: 00, Paul shows up and Charley says, “Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late. ” Paul replies, “Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick's been hurting bad. ” Charley says, “If your dick's been hurting, why did you go to the dentist? ” Paul answers, “Because I had a tooth stuck in it. ”