Cheat Jokes / Recent Jokes
First things first:
NO CHEATING Don't cheat.
This is a little game that has a pretty funny/creepy outcome. Don't read ahead, just do it in order. It takes about 3 minutes It's worth it.
It's kinda eerie...
First, Get a blank piece of paper and pen.
P.S. When you are asked to choose names, make sure it's people you ACTUALLY KNOW, and go with your first instincts!
Scroll down one line at a time - don't read ahead or you'll ruin the fun!!
1.) First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
2.) Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write any two numbers you want.
3.) Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay). Don't look ahead-or it won't turn out right.
4.) Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th and 6th spots. Don't cheat or you'll be upset that you did.
5.) Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11.
6.) Finally, make a wish
And here is the key for that more...
Marriage Humor Marriage Humor: --------------- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe- Jackie Mason Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside more...
Santa and Banta head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes.
Santa says to Banta, 'Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot Rs 500 on the lowest score for the day.'
Banta agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Banta is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
"Help me find my ball; you look over there," he says to Santa.
After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Banta pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.
"I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly.
Santa looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five hundred?"
"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"
"And a liar, too!", Santa says with amazement. 'I'll have you know I've more...
this guy was going on a bisness trip and he didnt want his wife to cheat on him so he went to the store and asked the guy what should he do if he doesnt want his wife to cheat so the store owner pulled out a puney little dick out of a box and the guy said what is this and the owner said voodoo dick and the owner explained that you have to tell it what to do like voodoo dick wall (and it put sperm all over the wall) and then the owner said to get it to stop you said voodoo dick box and it goes back in the box if you dont say that then it wont stop so the guy bought it then he bought home and he told his wife how to work it but he didnt tell his wife how to make it stop so he left she said voodoo dick my mouth then it went in to her mouth then she said voodoo dick my pussy and then it did it but then after a while she wanted it to stop but she didnt know how to make it stop so she ran out the house got in her car and she was speeding down the highway and the voodoo dick was chasing her more...
Two lawyers, John and Ajith, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. John offers Ajith a $50 bet. Ajith agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Ajith is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
"Help me find my ball. Look over there," he says to John. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Ajith secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces.
"After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," John says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?"
"What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!"
"And you're a liar, too!" John says. "I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!"
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, more...
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.
The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.
The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.