Cheat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Readers: If You can use a few good laughs today, try these quotes:
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
- Jackie Mason
"Your manuscript is both good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."
- Samuel Johnson
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"A critic is a man who knows the way, but can't drive the car."
- Kenneth Tynan
"France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper."
- Billy Wilder
The above quotes are from the book "The Other 637 Best Things Anybody Ever
Said" by Robert Byrne (published by Atheneum). It's $10.95, and worth every cent.
Found on the seal of a bag of bagels: NEW IMPROVED / Made the old fashioned way
From Harper's Magazine: "Amount of pizza eaten each day in more...

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
”Help me find my ball. Look over there, ” he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ”I’ve found my ball! ” he announces.
”After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together, ” Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks? ”
”What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there! ”
”And you’re a liar, too! ” Jon says. ”I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes! ”

Chicago (AP) -The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls.

"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. "What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you Tiger Woods; what would your daddy say?"

Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women.

Sharpton also more...

Take your time with this test and you will be amazed.

The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you.

Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers.

The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.

MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST!

A warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.

Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down. Don`t look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end.

This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best more...

Dear Abby: My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don't know what to do. SignedFrustrated ----------------Dear Frustrated: You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you don't need him anymore.

How Did Morron Cheat The Railways? He Bought A Ticket And Didnt Travel!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

A lady inserted an' ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge more...