Cheat Jokes / Recent Jokes

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

George, Robin and Alex are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter. "Ok you, George, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" "Let me be honest Peter. I`ve been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life". "Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye." St. Peter turns to Robin, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??" Robin replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here are the keys. Get going!" He then looks at Alex, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??" Alex lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!" St Peter replies, "Very impressive. more...

Funny Quotes About Marriage "In my house I`m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
-Woody Allen. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
-Rodney Dangerfield. "Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man`s
genitals through his wallet."
-Robin Williams. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people
remembering the same thing."
-Duane Dewel. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one
that`s a few steps ahead is the one that`s mad."
-Helen Rowland ! "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...
The rest cheat in Europe."
-Jackie Mason "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the
hope of pulling out an eel."
-Leonardo Di Vinci. "I don`t think I`ll get married again. I`ll just find a woman I don`t like
and give her a house."
-Lewis more...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent."And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition. Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho MarxWe in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho MarxI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho MarxPolitics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. - Groucho MarxEighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie MasonPerfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. - W. Somerset MaughamThere's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - James Holt McGavranMarriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful. - Phyllis McGinleyMen have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. - H. L. MenckenBachelors more...