Chemist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Physical Chemistry: The pitiful attempt to apply y=mx+b to everything in the universe.
Organic Chemistry: The practice of transmuting vile substances into publications.
Inorganic Chemistry: That which is left over after the organic,
analytical, and physical chemists get through picking over the periodic table.
Chemical Engineering: The practice of doing for a profit what an organic chemist only does for fun.
Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds,
biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that wriggle.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting
to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner,
strapping him in.
"No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and
nothing happened.
Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the
prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
Then the biologist was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?"
"No, just get on with it."
The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the
biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner.
"Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over,
you might make this thing work."
What quote did Decartes come up with in his organic chemistry class?
I think, therefore I amide.
A chemist, a mechanical engineer and a computer scientist are passing through a vast desert in a car when suddenly the engine breaks down.
"There must have been some sudden increase of enthalpy in the cylinder", the chemist says.
"Nonsense, the fan-belt has broken", the engineer replies.
After thinking a while the computer scientist suggests: "Let's get out and in again, that should do."