Chemistry Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once A Math, A Science And A Chemistry Teacher Went For A Boat Ride In The Lake. Teacher Said "I Will Check Its Length And
Wideness And Jump Into It", She Did It. The Science Teacher Said "I Will Check Its Spead And Heat An Jump Into It", She Did
It. After Some Time The Chemistry Teacher Said "As They Both Have Not Poped Out, I Think They Have Dissolved!"
Q. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?A. One molar solution.
Q. What did the gambler do with his cards?A. He Palladium.
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?A: Because it's in the ground state.
The Chemistry Teacher's Coming to Town
You better not weigh
You better not heat
You better not react
I'm telling you now
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.
He's collecting data
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out
The heat of melting ice
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.
He sees you when you're decanting
He knows when you titrate
He knows when you are safe or not
So wear goggles for goodness sake.
Oh, you better not filter
And drink your filtrate
You better not be careless and spill your precipitate.
The Chemistry Teacher's coming to town.
Bonkistry Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion yearsby Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately knownas "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it pasthim to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there werethese two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on allof the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into thefinal they had a solid A.These two friends were so confident going into the final that theweekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to UVirginia and party with some friends up there.So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangoversand everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back toDuke until early monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain tohim why they missed the final. They told him more...