Cheney Jokes / Recent Jokes
George W. Bush ran into Colin Powell's office exclaiming, "Dick Cheney hanged himselfin his bathroom!" Colin Powell says "Oh, No! Did you cut him down?" "Cut him down?" asks George W. "How could I cut him down? He wasn't dead yet!"
George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me." Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home," said Cheney. Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have more...
While visiting England recently, George W. Bush was invited to have tea with the Queen.
Given his recent political problems, he decides to take advantage of her years of leadership experience and asks her for her advice. She responds that she surrounds herself with the most intelligent people she can find and lets them do their jobs.
Intrigued with this novel theory, Bush asks her how she is able to tell if the people are intelligent.
"I do so by asking them a test question" responds the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
The Queen then dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me."
"I'll do my best, Your Majesty" responds Blair.
"Your mother has a child and your father has a child" says the Queen. "The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"
Tony Blair more...
BREAKING NEWS: BUSH SEEKS TO ENJOIN SANTA FROM CHECKING LIST TWICE
Lack of Standards Decried
Austin, TX (Dec. 13)-Attorneys for President-Elect George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit filed in Federal District Court in Austin, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, more...
Dick Cheney's gay daughter is pregnant. Democracts have proposed a "Cheney" commerative $3 coin that honors gay mariage on one side and unwed motherhood on the other.
One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away.Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."
Bush and Cheney are at a restaurant for lunch. The waitress comes over and asks what they will be having. Bush says, "I'll have a quickie." The waitress steps back in disgust and says, "Mr. President, I thought that kind of piggish behavior went out with the last administration!" She storms off and Dubya looks confused. Cheney shakes his head at the president and says, "George, it's pronounced QUICHE."