Cherry Jokes / Recent Jokes

HORSE RACE Line up:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
AT THE FINISH:
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar…Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another cup. . just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor…
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Samp! le! the Cuervo to check for tonsist icity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or more...

Ben & Jerry's new Israeli ice cream flavors:
Wailing Walnut
Moishmallow
Mazel Toffee
Rashi Road
Chazalnut
Oy Ge-malt
Cherry Bim
Cherry Bum
Mi Ka-mocha
Lemontashens
Manishta Nut
Abba Ebanana
Bernard Malamint
Cashew Le'Pesach
Chuppapaya
Choc-Eilat Chip
Simchas T'Oreo
All flavors come in a Cohen

I can't make a cherry pop, but I can make a bananna cream

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afforda larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told himthat he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in' Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beercan, hold it to his ear and more...

Why did the elephant paint his nails red?
So that he could hide in the cherry tree!

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
No? That's because he hides himself so well!

An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.
He then asked, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
Nobody answered him.
He then asked again, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
Again nobody answered.
The old Indian said, “I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish. ” So the Indian asked again,
“Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
To which the littlest Indian replied, “I push port-a-potty over cliff. ”
The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, “Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father? ”
The old Indian replied, “Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!! ”