Chinese Jokes / Recent Jokes

Chinese Baby A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new child and says "I think we will name him "Sum Ting Wong."

I eat an awful lot of Chinese food for someone who's not Chinese. You seldom see Chinese people eating Jewish food. There's a huge trade inbalance there.

Chinese food is SO beautiful! Even the names are beautiful.

The other night I got a dish called "Seven Precious Treasures on a Bed of Jade".

I didn't know whether to eat it or sell it on ebay.

Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic patterns with ease. There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the hand-written menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked the menu in her purse. Some months later I saw the result, a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front. She received compliments galore until one cocktail party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant. "I'm afraid to ask," she said, "but tell me anyway." Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, "This is a cheap dish--but good."

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an American man are sitting in a boat. The Chinese man throws a bowl of rice over the boat says, "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican man takes a dish full of tacos and throws it over the boat and say, "We have too much of this in our country." The American man takes the Mexican man and throws him over the boat and says, "We have to much of this in our country."

A Chinese waiter had a particular customer who constantly made fun of his accent. Usually ordering Flied Lice and then laughing.
The waiter became upset and decided to end the joke. He practiced constantly in front of the mirror until he could say, fried rice.
Next time the man came in he said, "What is good on the menu today?"
The waiter replied, "_F_r_i_e_d_ _r_i_c_e_, you plick."

Chichen Feathers There once was a chicken farmer who lived in a small village in China. One year, all of his chickens were afflicted with a strange blight that caused them to lose their feathers. The farmer was deeply concerned about this, because winter was coming, and, if the chickens had no feathers, they would freeze to death. So, the farmer decided to consult the two wisest men in the land. First, he visited Mr. Ching, the renowned scholar. Mr. Ching leafed through all his agricultural and medicinal texts and pored over books and scrolls well into the night. Finally, he returned to the farmer and told him that, if he crushed the leaves of a gum tree into powder, made it into tea, and fed it to his chickens, they would be cured. The farmer then went to Mr. Ming, the great seer. Mr. Ming cast stones, read tea leaves, and poked through entrails until finally he came up with the answer: "Tea made from gum leaves will cause feathers to stick to chicken." Now the farmer was more...

Though the Chinese should adore APL, it's FORTRAN they put their money on.