Chinese Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are. "Yes," replied the Chinese man, "Our culture is over 4, 000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too." The Jewish man replied, "Yes, our culture is over 5, 000 years old." The Chinese man was incredulous, "That's impossible," he replied. "Where did your people eat for a thousand years?"

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.
When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.
The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.
The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.
So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men.

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by theMaitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait."Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles andsays, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs... "

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep more...

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo French fried ships - Cairo Garlic Coffee - Europe Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe Boiled Frogfish - Europe Sweat from the trolley - Europe Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong Roasted duck let loose - Poland Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland Fried friendship - Nepal Strawberry crap - Japan Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam Toes with butter and jam - Bali French Creeps - L. A. Fried fishermen - Japan Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues Kolic - Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer Swine - Chinese chocolates Libido - Chinese soda Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink Shocking - Japanese chewing gum more...

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for theevening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go atit.When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat theperformance.The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. Whenfinished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes adeep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumpsback into bed with the hooker and starts again.The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. Duringthe fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes adeep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds fourChinese men.

Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick". Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty." When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of more...