Choice Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say,
"oh geez, better get cracking," and do some gibberish work. Turn it in
a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative.
Use the intregral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left
nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your
answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO
sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the
instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say
to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to more...

Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
REDMOND, WA - In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek more...

Men should ace this test. .. women may have a little difficulty.
Mohan might have some trouble with this one.....

There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)

| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
-------------------------
You are to identify, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you
should stand.
Good luck!

===================
Easy Section
===================
1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.

2.)
| more...

In an interview, the interviewer said to the boy "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"

The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry Sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.

The advertisement grabbed my attention right away, Cialis...works for 36 hours and let's you choose the moment. Then I began to wonder...am I supposed to choose the moment first or choose my date first? Is it multiple choice? Will it be an extremely hard choice? How will my crotch feel knowing that the decision making has been taken away from him and is now in the hands of my Cialis influenced brain? If my date doesn't agree with my choice..am I allowed to phone a friend? I put these questions to the test last weekend. I walked up to a woman in the club....radiating my chemically enhanced confidence...and asked her straight up..." ever made it with a guy who can go for 36 hours?" I had her attention and we went back to my place.My Cialis coated brain and I decided on a 2 hour marathon of wild passionate sex....2 minutes into it my crotch lead the mutiny and decided it was close enough. Next time...I'm gonna read the fine print on the box.

Redmond, Wash.
April 1, 1998
Microsoft today announced the newest addition to its popular Windows (TM) line of computer operating systems. Code named Atlantis, the newest offering will be officially known as Win' 00, pronounced Windows double zero.
At the gala press conference, complete with red, white, and blue lights bathing the stage, Bill Gates, President and CEO of Microsoft, personally made the announcement. Multicast to every corner of the world, Gates spoke to the huge crowd of computer press, as a 60 foot high video screen behind him showed his face, and Aerosmith sang their hit' Dream On' in the background.
"We are on the verge of the new millenium, and Microsoft is ready to lead the way into the new century. Just as we have been on the forefront of technology, claiming every advance in computing, we will now set the newest standard in the market. Taking the concept of the Virtual machine to its next logical evolutionary stage, our new operating more...