Choice Jokes / Recent Jokes

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even more...

After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences.
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:
Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:
Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is:
Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is:
Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is:
Tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is:
Golf.
Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!

After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences.1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:Basketball.2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:Bowling.3. The sport of choice for front line workers is:Football.4. The sport of choice for supervisors is:Baseball.5. The sport of choice for middle management is:Tennis.6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is:Golf.Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!

From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the Wishee.

By accepting more...

After a two-year long study, The National Science Foundation announced the following results on Corporate America's recreational preferences:
The sport of choice for male unemployed or incarcerated individuals is BASKETBALL
The sport of choice for male maintenance level employees is BOWLING
The sport of choice for male front-line workers is FOOTBALL
The sport of choice for male supervisors is BASEBALL
The sport of choice for male middle management is TENNIS
The sport of choice for male corporate officers is GOLF.
Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

After a two-year long study, the WALL STREET JOURNAL announced the following results on Corporate America's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: Football
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf
Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the MacIntosh. I can imagine what the advertisements will be:
Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh? Then get Microsoft Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation!
Why settle for intuitive keyboard commands when you can have confusing F-key combinations? But don't take our word for it-here are some satisfied customers:
"I couldn't stand all the easy drag-and-click commands on my MacIntosh. Now I can do everything with wordy commands that only work on one file or directory at a time!"
- Goober McLeod, IBM user for 15 years
"I hated the 'automatic startup' files. Now, I can go back to my autoexec.bat file and pray I've got everything set up right! Plus, MS-Windows even disabled the Find File command, so I can search all my directories by hand to find those utilities I lost!"
- Joey Boring, still using a more...