Chops Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the more...

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, more...

There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!". The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 4 legs - jumps 2 feet'.
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: 'Frog with 3 legs - jumps 1.5 feet'.
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: 'Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot'.
He continues and removes yet another leg. " Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: 'Frog with one leg - jumps 0.5 feet'.
Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and tells it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!". The frog doesn't move. "Jump frog, jump!!!". Again the frog stays on the line. "Come more...

FBI Marksman

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town.
Everywhere he saw the evidence of the most amazing shooting, on trees, on
walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's eyes with the bullet hole
in dead centre.
The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person
responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the
village idiot.
"This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen." said the FBI man. "How in
the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles
afterward! !!"
THE GROCERY STORE
The story goes that there was this lady married to a Caucasian. The poor
lady was not very proficient in English but anyhow managed to communicate
with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for
groceries. One day, she went to the butcher's and more...

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be helped. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?"
The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.
He then said, "Anything else?"
The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?"
The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.
The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied two packages of meat around the dog's neck. The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. more...

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around hisneck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it'shis turn to be waited on.A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchaseand noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and askedthe dog what it wanted today.The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so thebutcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said,"Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butchersaid, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made upa package of four pork chops.The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could getat the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money beforetying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow thedog. The dog walked for several blocks and more...

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be helped. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?"
The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.
He then said, "Anything else?"
The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?"
The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.
The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied two packages of meat around the dog's neck. The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the more...