Circus Jokes / Recent Jokes

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have testicles. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Why don't men eat more M&M's? They're too hard to peel. What do you call a man with an IQ of 50? Gifted. What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing. What do men and bottles of beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up. How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares!!!! What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About WomenHow many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Men will screw anything! How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know - it's never happened. Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? Because they're stupid. How are men and parking spots more...

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,
000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,
000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.
He'd never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the more...

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000.All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.He'd never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the elephant. He says, more...

There was this elephant at a circus. And at this circus
there was a prize award to be given to whomever can
make this elephant sit. So many tried and failed, Until
this goofy looking guy came by. so the elephant trainer
asked, "you can make this elephant sit hahahaha"
ok if you succedd ill give you 5 thousand dollars
so the guy walks over to the elephant and kindly asks
the elephant to sit, but no luck. So he kicks the
elephant hard and whoop the elephant sit down out of pain. huh the trainer
replies ok you win here ya go. .
a week later another contest is abroad, but this time the trainer implies,
"anyone who can make this elephant say yes and no without physically touching
him
i will give 1 hundred thousand they must give me
5 thousand to play which if they win they would surley get it back... The
trainer thinking this would be impossible trys out the contast. many tried
walking from left more...

While on a tour my SriLankan friend saw a travelling Circus. At the entrance there was a sign with the following written on it. The person who make this elephant shake his head will win a prize of 500 Dollars.
My friend went inside and had look at the elephant and noticed that it was from Sri Lanka. He went upto the keeper and told him that he could do it. The keeper looked at him very sarcastically and said I had people from US, Uk and all other countries who tried it but failed.
My friend said that given a chance he could give a try at it. So he walked up to the stage and squeezed the testacles of the elephant. The elephant did not show any response. The keeper said you will never do this, but my friend said show me your prize then I shall do it.
After seeing the cash prize he walked upto the elephant and whispered to his ear and said this. "Ali Malli Thawa Paarak Mirikannada". The elephant promptly shook his head and requested him to do it again.
My more...

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

The circus was finishing its final performance in the country town when one of its zebras had a stroke. The local veterinarian prescribed a few weeks' rest for the beast, so the circus owner made arrangements to board it at a nearby farm.
The zebra took to the new life immediately and spent the first day meeting all the animals of the barnyard.
He came across a chicken and said, "I'm a zebra, who are you?"
"I'm a chicken," said the chicken.
"What do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I scratch around and lay eggs," said the chicken.
Moving on, the zebra found a cow. He introduced himself saying, "I'm a zebra. Who are you?"
"I'm a cow," said the cow.
"What do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I graze in the field and give milk," said the cow.
The zebra met a bull next. "I'm a zebra," he said. "Who are you?"
"I'm a bull," said the more...