Circus Jokes / Recent Jokes
How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk...
A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner told them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl said, "I'll go first." She walked past the chair, the whip, and the gun and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion started to snarl and pant and began to charge her. About half way there, she threw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her, and started licking her ankles. He continued to lick her calves, kissed them, and then rested his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth was on the floor. He said, "I've never seen a display like that in my more...
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner, Banta.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for Rs 35,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!"
"Well," said Banta, "Did you remember to light a candle under the pot?"
YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO THE CIRCUS ALL OF HER AND THE ELAPHANT SAID..."WE ARE FAMILY!!"
This young guy comes into the office/wagon of the circus master: "I can climb up the center pole and dive off into space, NO NET, land on my head in center ring, and jump up and take a bow. How 'bout them apples?"
"How much are you asking for this spectacle?" asks the circus master.
"Just 200 bucks a show," says the young guy.
"I don't know. I'll have to see it first," says the circus master.
The acrobat climbs up, dives off, lands on his head, and jumps up and waves, although a bit wobbly.
"OK, for 200 bucks a shot, it's a deal," says the circus master.
"Oh, no! Not 200! 500!" says the acrobat.
"What? You said 200!"
"I know I said 200, but that was before I tried it!"
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"
"I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see you're ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, more...
Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnny's favourites, the clowns.
Johnny is loving the clowns and their humorous japes until one of the clowns comes up to him and says, "Little boy are you the front end of an ass?" "No," replies little Johnny. "Are you the rear end of an ass?" "No," replies little Johnny again. "In that case," says the clown, "you must be no end of an ass." Little Johnny is distraught and he runs out of the circus and all the way home in tears.
When his mum catches up with him she says, "Little Johnny don't worry, your Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee, is coming to stay more...