Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mohter's milk.Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher!"Number One: It's fresh.Number Two: It's nutritious.Number Three: I't served at just the right temperature.And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said, "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for that of Suzuki, who had his handup. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!"
Who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country and knows more about its history than you do."
She then heard a loud whisper. "Darn Japanese."
"Who said that?", she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Suzuki's classroom superiority, a more...

These are the services offered at Mihin Lanka.
MENU: No western food is available. Only kekulu hale buth, indi appan, kurakkan pittu, kurakkan thalapa, pathola maluwa, parippu maluva and fried wel malu. Kiri peni and Hambantota kalu dodol are available for dessert.
BEVERAGES: No imported wines. You have a choice between' pol raa' (toddy) and' kashiya' (aka katukambi and suduwa).
IN FLIGHT MAGAZINE: A copy of Mahinda Chinthana
SMOKING: This is a non smoking flight but beedis are allowed. You can also enjoy a bulath vita. Please be careful when you open the window to spit.
IN AN EMERGENCY: You will find Buddhist monks chanting' Ithpiso bhagava...' in the screen in front of you
CLASSES: FIRST CLASS (Renamed Mahinda Class) Has only two seats and they are permanently reserved for Mahinda maama and his wife.
BUSINESS CLASS (Renamed Basil class) Reserved for Ministers, but only a limited number of ministers can be allowed due to the limitations in the more...

When I was in highschool, we had a sex ED class. My teacher, Mrs. Buklad, who was almost nun-like taught the class. One day a boy in my class asked what flavored condoms were for. She said "Well, normally they are used for blowjobs. In fact, I used one last night, my partner said is tastes good." We all stared blankly at him/her.

It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts' Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!' The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance.' If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?' he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said:' Ten.' And the entire senior class stood up and shouted' Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!'

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history." Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, more...

Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone!