Clever Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket."How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a more...

One day some intelligent men, who were going about the nation trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's region and asked to see the wisest man in the place.

Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first intelligent guy began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you confirm that?" asked the first intelligent man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first clever guy had nothing to respond to that, so the second wise guy asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said.

"As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What evidence have you got of that?" asked the second more...

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands? SAGE: Clever men dont BECOME husbands!

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please." The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog more...

A local business looking for office help put a ign in the window saying:
HELP WANTED. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE, MUST BE GOOD WITH COMPUTERS AND MUST BE BILINGUAL.
A short time later a dog walked upto the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over t the sign, looked and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager lookd at the dog and was suprised, to say the least. However since the dog looked determined, he led him into the office. The dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager who said "I cant hire you, you have o be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and typed out a perfect letter. He took the letter to the manager and jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then reminded the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
So the dog jumped off the chair and went to the computer. Then he more...

Q. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A. One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt

My friend sent these to me. Thought I would post them so that you can all enjoy. This is proof that women are clever.
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Women's Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V. D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in more...