Clients Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said lawyers were always his favorite clients!
When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of having lawyers as clients he replied, "I only build coffins now."

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town. Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever. Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients. As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!". All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting' wrong hole'?"

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town.
Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever.
Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients.
As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!".
All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town.Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever.Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients.As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!".All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.

Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Q. What do you have when 100 Lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A Doberman.

Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just more...