Clinton Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: Because Clinton "invested" all the turkey.
A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face some even look a little frightened and Clinton isn't in the room.
"What's the matter?" he asked
"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war that may go nuclear."
"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"
"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra."
What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?
The Oral Office.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy." Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy." Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."