Closet Jokes / Recent Jokes

Going back to the closet
Howard, a young gay man telephones his mother.
"Mum, I`ve decided to go back into the closet. I`ve met a wonderful girl and we are going to be married. What do you think of this news? You`ll be happier now - I know that my gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to you."
She responds, "I`m very glad, Howard. I suppose it would be too much to hope that she`s a Jewish girl?"
Howard replies, "Not only is she Jewish, mum, but she comes from a wealthy Beverly Hills family."
"So what`s her name?"
"Monica Lewinsky".
There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."
That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."
The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"
So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."
Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed... I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."

It was late one night and three guys just got done partying. So they needed to find a motel. So they find a super8 motel. They go in to the clerk and get one room because that was all that they could afford.
They get to there room and there is only one bed so quickly one guy says, "I get the bed." Then another guy says, "I get the bathroom." Then the last guy says, "I guess I get the closet."
During the middle of the night the guy in the bed has to take a big ol shit. But he remembers the guy in the bathroom so he does his busness in the pillow case and throws it in the closet.
In the morning he gets up and checks on the guy in the bathroom. They both had a great night sleep. So they go and see their friend in the closet. When they asked how his night was he said, "It was pretty good up until a white ghost jumped in and I kicked the shit out of it.

It was late one night and three guys just got done partying. So they needed to find a motel. So they find a super8 motel. They go in to the clerk and get one room because that was all that they could afford. They get to there room and there is only one bed so quickly one guy says, "I get the bed." Then another guy says, "I get the bathroom." Then the last guy says, "I guess I get the closet."During the middle of the night the guy in the bed has to take a big ol shit. But he remembers the guy in the bathroom so he does his busness in the pillow case and throws it in the closet.In the morning he gets up and checks on the guy in the bathroom. They both had a great night sleep. So they go and see their friend in the closet. When they asked how his night was he said, "It was pretty good up until a white ghost jumped in and I kicked the shit out of it.

A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, "Gimme another one." The bartender pours the drink, but says, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?"So, the man begins his tale. "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, "Wow, this has never happened before." You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I'd like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldn't believe this was happening, and I hadn't had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my more...

Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to someone else?
Which president had a torrid affair with the first lady's personal secretary?
Which president had sex with a young woman in a White House coat closet - at one point, while a secret service agent more...

San Francisco, CA - Gary Adams, 43, gay, finally realized his lifelong dream to own and operate a gay bar in the heart of the gay district of San Francisco known as the Castro. Never in his worst nightmares would he have imagined how difficult it would be to stay afloat in the dog-eat-dog world of gay bar ownership.

"I opened The Closet for business in June 2006, just in time for the gay pride parade. Guys swarmed the place and we literally cleaned up. I was all'Hey boys! Come on in and enjoy!'. And enjoy they did."

Adams had a steady stream of business for a few months, but soon realized he never saw the same faces returning.

"It was always new faces coming in, but never coming back. A guy will come here and drink, flirt, have fun, whatevers, but then once he comes out of The Closet, that's it. There's no return. It's just so damned frustrating."

Adams says he's thinking about shutting down The Closet and sub-letting the space more...