Clothes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Indians and a redneck were stolling through the woods, when suddenly one of the Indians ran up a hill to the opening of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave, and then listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
Puzzled, the redneck asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then, they spotted another cave. The Indian ran up to the mouth of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!". Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep within the cave. He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into more...

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." — Mark Twain

A pretty girl goes to church to make a confession to a priest. She is sobbing uncontrollaby when the priest asks her, "what's the matter my child?"
"My boyfriend did something bad to me," she said. The priest now kissed her and said, "Did he do this to you?" She shakes her head "no." He hugs her and said, "did he do this to you." she stutters a "no" between all her crying. He now pulled off her clothes and said, "Did he do this to you?" She stops crying enough to say"no." He now has his way with her and says, "did he do this to you?" She crys, "not exactly" After putting on his clothes and covering her up he asked, "Then what did your boyfriend do?" She crys out. "He raped me and gave me AIDS!" The priest fainted!

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my fucking clothes."

A very old couple booked a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th marriage anniversary.

The bellboy while taking their luggage to the suite thinks to himself, "At this age they are booking a suite. What a waste."

After leaving them in their room with a very heavy tip he decides to spy on them. At night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. And what does he hear? Laughing and clapping sounds from their room. All night long he could not believe his ears. In the morning he apologized to the husband for having spied on them, but being very inquisitive he asks him how can he do what he did at this age.

The husband replied, "See it is this way. First I remove my clothes. Then I lie down on the bed face up. Then my wife removes her clothes.

Then the bellboy leans into the old man and says, "Then WHAT?"

The old husband smiles and says, "Then my wife lifts up my penis with one hand, more...

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and
realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation
was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would
come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.
After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that
they were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and
they discussed their predicament in great depth.
Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am
about to die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on
earth-to see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes
so I can look at you?"
The nun thought about his request for several seconds and
then agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked,
"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked,
either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"
With more...