Clown Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out - caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well, with the children having a wonderful time. But, the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says,' What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would more...
A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her.
Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.
The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half an hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.
The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air.
She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I more...
* By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.
* Clown car must be started with breathalyzer device.
* Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"
* References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds.
* Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.
* Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.
* Tells the kids he killed Barney in a blood match in Newark.
* Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.
* Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."
* Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.
* Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"
* More interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch than more...
Q: What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal while eating the clown?
A: "Does this taste funny to you?"
God created the mule, and told him,' you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered:' To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20.' And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him,' you will hold vigilanceover the dwellings of Man, to him you will be his greatest companion. Youwill eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.'And the dog responded,' Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years.' And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him,' You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years.'And the monkey responded,' Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of theworld is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.' And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him,' You are Man, the only more...