Club Jokes / Recent Jokes

So... the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club."
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill.
The "dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other butt cheek.
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that?
I got out my wallet, thought for a minute... and then the financial analyst in me took over. I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!

The Yoko Club? - Oh no.
The German philosophy club? - I. Kant.
The Ford-Nixon club? - Pardon me?
The Arafat club? - Yessir.
The Alzheimer's club? - Forget it.
The Ebert movie club? - Roger.
The Groucho Marx club? - You bet your life.
The Peter Pan club? - Never. Never.
The Japanese theater club? - Noh.
The quarterback club? - I'll pass.
The Rhett Butler club? - I don't give a damn.
The compulsive rhymers club? - Okey-dokey.
The Spanish optometrists club? - Si.
The anti-perspirant club? - Sure.
The pregnancy club? - Conceivably.
The Procrastinator's Club? - Maybe next week
The Self Esteem Builders? - They wouldn't accept me anyway
The Agoraphobics Society? - Only if they meet at my house
The Co-Dependence Club? - Can I bring a friend?
The Prayer Group? - God willing!

He grew bogus
Bush ego grew
Where bugs go
Whose bugger?
"W": he bugs Gore
e.g. bug whores?
Ugh! Sewer bog!
Bugger, who's 'e?
Ogre hugs web
Other related anagrams
President George "Dubya" Bush:
Ego upset by greed and hubris
USA President George Bush:
Ass...one stupid bugger here!
Huge, depressing saboteur
The Republican Party:
Try neat, happier club
Buy that pearl, Prince!
Entire rat club happy!
Aren't public therapy
Republicans / Democrats:
Superb morals? Accident!
Cured satanic problems
Products enable racism

The Yoko Club? - Oh no.The German philosophy club? - I. Kant.The Ford-Nixon club? - Pardon me? The Arafat club? - Yessir.The Alzheimer's club? - Forget it.The Ebert movie club? - Roger.The Groucho Marx club? - You bet your life.The Peter Pan club? - Never. Never.The Japanese theater club? - Noh.The quarterback club? - I'll pass.The Rhett Butler club? - I don't give a damn.The compulsive rhymers club? - Okey-dokey.The Spanish optometrists club? - Si.The anti-perspirant club? - Sure.The pregnancy club? - Conceivably.The Procrastinator's Club? - Maybe next weekThe Self Esteem Builders? - They wouldn't accept me anywayThe Agoraphobics Society? - Only if they meet at my houseThe Co-Dependence Club? - Can I bring a friend? The Prayer Group? - God willing!

A man walks into a country club, and asks to play a round of golf. The man behind the counter suggests he try one of their brand new mechanical caddies. The guy had just gotten his paycheck, so he had money to burn, he figured "what the hell".
He took the caddy out and it was great, it would tell him what club to use, what was wrong with his swing, and what direction his putts would break and how much. The man gets done, and shoots the best round of his life.
A month later he comes back and asks for one of the caddies. The manager replies, "I'm sorry, but we had to get rid of them." The man a little confused asks, "Why did you get rid of them, they were great." The manager explained that they were made out of metal, so when the sun reflected off of them, it blinded the other golfers.
Still confused, the man adds, "Well, why didn't you just paint them black?"
The manager replies "Well, we tried that, but then 2 of them more...

Did you hear about the local country club that was determined to be politcally correct? Instead of saying the golfers have handicaps, they say they're stroke-challenged!

The Yoko Club? - Oh no. The German philosophy club? - I. Kant. The Ford-Nixon club? - Pardon me? The Arafat club? - Yessir. The Alzheimer's club? - Forget it. The Ebert movie club? - Roger. The Groucho Marx club? - You bet your life. The Peter Pan club? - Never. Never. The Japanese theater club? - Noh. The quarterback club? - I'll pass. The Rhett Butler club? - I don't give a damn. The compulsive rhymers club? - Okey-dokey. The Spanish optometrists club? - Si. The anti-perspirant club? - Sure. The pregnancy club? - Conceivably. The Procrastinator's Club? - Maybe next weekThe Self Esteem Builders? - They wouldn't accept me anywayThe Agoraphobics Society? - Only if they meet at my houseThe Co-Dependence Club? - Can I bring a friend? The Prayer Group? - God willing!