Clue Jokes / Recent Jokes

Obsessive cyberflirt, actually 47 years old and hasn't left her house in weeks but feels loved because she has 300 AOL'ers chasing her.
Odinist Mafiosi dominatrix gangster's moll, in Norway and bored because she hasn't shed any blood in THREE DAYS, let alone killed anyone.
Cyberspace Jaye Davidson, considers himself trapped in a man's body but won't admit it.
Illiterate bimbo, knows how to use the SHOUT command on MUDs and nothing else.
Smirking college student who thinks it's so fun to tease men, and does nothing but IRC on #hotsex because she's the star of the show. Uses the name of one of her sorority sisters so that the losers who track her down don't pester HER.
AOL hacker-wannabe. Will sleep with anyone who can tell her about Kevin Mitnick.
Bored grad student's AI routine "blonde.c"
Kibo.
Achmed Darsein, who is cleverly disguising himself as a woman in order to learn about the USA and blow up the World Trade Center again. Your first clue more...

Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can
The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.
The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"
You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off!
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You scan restroom stall for hot HTML addresses.
You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on more...

Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips? I sure can :)The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off! Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.You scan restroom stall for hot HTML addresses.You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.You check your email. It more...

Ways to keep your Testosterone flowing...
1. Don't call, ever.
2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure it out by herself.
3. Lie.
4. lie.
5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.
6. Here's a good pickup line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me?"
7. Drink Vernors.
8. Women want to hear all about YOU constantly!
9. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will do.
10. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
11. Lie.
12. Girls find it attractive if a man has friends than baths.
13. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help - don't ask.
14. Women like it when you ignore them.
15. Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, check your hair, clothing, etc.
16. If you don't like a girl, more...

A man proposed to his girlfriend with a clue that's answer was "Will You Marry Me?"

The woman was elated until she read the last clue in the puzzle: 114. Six-letter word for an agreement before marriage.

Hasbro has announced the updated version of the popular board game Clue, featuring new rooms and new weapons. The new rooms include the home theatre and spa. The new weapons include a baseball bat, to bludgeon to death, an axe, to hack to death, and Paris Hilton, to bore you to death.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn’t buy a kitten and
parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl.
‘You’re getting your Christmas present a week early this year, ’ her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. ‘Is that what you want? ’
The little girl said, ‘It’s wonderful, mother… just what I wanted. There’s just one thing wrong! ’
‘What’s that? ’ her mother asked.
‘Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and another little claw on the inside of every paw - but the poor little thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws! ’
Her mother smiled. ‘Don’t worry, Kitty. When you wake up on Christmas morning you’ll find the claws are there. ’
Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worried about the claws in the middle of its paws. The days more...