Clues Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sexual Tension Quiz
Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try to determine what the object or thing is that is being described. For every correct answer you give, give yourself 2 points, for every incorrect answer deduct 2 points.
If you score less than 14 points, you are in need of more sex. If you score between 14 points and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as having a great sex experience. Now please begin.
"CLUES"
1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good.
2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.
3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger.
4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.
5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you more...

CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT - YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN:
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your undies up in the toilets.
3. You suddenly decide you want to start a fight.
4. In your last trip to the bathroom you realise you now look more like GAIL from Coronation Street than the sex pot you were just 4 hours ago.
5. You drop your 3 a.m. chips on the floor of AbraKebabra and pick them up & carry on eating.
6. You start crying.
7. There are less than 3 hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to nerdy gimp from payroll.
9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
10. You've forgotten where you live.
11. You start to sound like Tina Turner from the cigarettes you've smoked. Oh, and as you have mentioned 10 TIMES by now, you only smoke when you drink.
12. You yell at the more...