Coach Jokes / Recent Jokes

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach too me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up more...

The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."
"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"
The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance.

"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the
team."

"Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.

The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter' T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"

Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with' T'?"

The Polak said, "Two!"

"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"

"Today and Tomorrow!"

"Hmm... OK," said the coach. more...

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.""I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde." Well I'll get the pilot.The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"

Boston College coach Jeff Jagodzinski is expected to be fired after interviewing with the New York Jets. Not because of disloyalty, but because it's now obvious that he lacks good decision-making skills.

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METS
NEW YORK (AP) -The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."
One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had more...