Coke Jokes / Recent Jokes

This cowboy walks into this chinese restaurant and asks for a Coke. The chinese waitor goes to get the coke and puts 1/4 pee in it. The cowboy says "Mmmmmm can I have another one?" Yes said the waitor. This time he put 2/4 pee in it and the cowboy said that it tasted a little wierd and asked for a new one. This time the waitor put 3/4 pee in the coke. The cowboy said, "This tastes like pee get me a new coke." This time the waitor put 4/4 pee. The cowboy yelled, "This is pee and I am going to sew you!" The Chinese waitor said, "I Chinese I play joke I stick pee in your coke!!" ha ha ha!!!

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
3. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: “I’m fixing to go to the store
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable,
grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both
unlocked.
6. You know what a “VOL” is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
11. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday
12. You find 100 degrees fahrenheit “a little warm”.
13. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer
and
Christmas.
14. You know whether another Tennessean is from east, west or middle
Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.
15. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as”goin’ Wal-
martin” or
off to “Wally more...

A blonde is over at this Coke Machine putting fifty cents in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the Coke, putting it in her pockets. After a while she has a Coke in every pocket. She keeps going, stacking the Cokes around her on the floor. Finally, the guy
behind her, getting mad, asks her, "What Are You Doing?! She responds, "Duh, I'm winning."

"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? That's a breakfast?"

Heard on Paul Harvey ("PAUL Harvey. .............. good Day!") this morning: When Coca-Cola was first introduced to China a short time ago, the company had some difficulty spelling the product's name in Chinese, while keeping the same pronunciation ("ko-ka ko-la"). .. the first attempt translated to "bite the wax tadpole." Finally they arrived at something which translated to "may your mouth rejoice," and now Coke is selling quite a bit better.

Q. Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A. Because she thought it was diet coke.