Cola Jokes

Three people are arrested for trying to sell the secret formula for Coca Cola (Coke) to Pepsi. We've been able to split the atom, figure out the evolution of time, decode DNA. Yet we're still baffled by the secret ingredients in Coca Cola. Well here they are: cola nuts, water, seltzer, a ton of sugar, and a whole lot of gullible Americans. Americans that will buy anything they're told to. And don't get me started on Starbucks. Their secret for success: coffee, milk, sugar, and the same stupid, gullible Americans!

The disappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. The first poster is a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place".
"That should have worked", said the friend."
He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...
1.) You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration.
2.) Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
3.) Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
4.) You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."
5.) On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
6.) You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.
7.) You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
8.) When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
9.) You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.
10.) You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
11.) You think sleep is for the weak.
12.) You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, more...

A little boy is leaving school at the end of the day. As he strolls along the
sidewalk, a car pulls up to the curb, and a man winds down the window.
"Hey, kid, I've got candy in my car. Hop in and I'll give it to you."
"No. I'm not going to." The boy walks on. Further down the road, the car
pulls over again.
"Hey there kid, if you get in my car, I'll give you all this candy, and a big
bottle of cola. How about it?"
"No way! Now leave me alone!" The boy walks on, quickening his pace. The
car again pulls over beside him.
"Look, kid, I've got a puppy at home you'd love to see. Get in and I'll take
you there. You can have all the candy and the cola on the way. What d'you
say to that?"
The boy is getting agitated. He stops walking, and leans down to the car
window.
"Look, I don't care what you promise me Dad. I'm NOT riding in your Lada!"

1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
2. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House..."
3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Battle or Peachtree Corners.
4. Atlanta is the home of Coca Cola. That’s all we drink here, so don’t ask for any other soft drink... unless it’s made by Coca Cola.
5. Atlantan`s only know their way to work and their way home.
6. Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse.
7. It’s impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don’t feel lost.... they’re just more...