Cold Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep.
There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag. ”
Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said “Father, I’m cold. ” He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket, and put it on her.
Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, “Father, I’m still very cold. ” He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again.
Just as his eyes closed, she said, “Father, I’m sooooo cold. ” This time, he remained there and said, “Sister, I have an idea. We’re out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know more...

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of its bottle?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical more...

How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why are there 5 sylables in the word "monosylabic"?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?

This couple out on a date get a flat tire while driving along on a snowy night. They guy gets out to change the tire, but he doesn't have any gloves so before long he gets back in the car with the job half-done, his hands blue from the cold.
"Put your hands between my legs to warm them up," offers his gal. So he does, then gets out to finish the job.
It's so cold, however, that he has to come back one more time to warm his hands, again between her legs.
Finally, he finishes the job and gets back into the car, and is about to put the keys into the ignition when she asks, "Aren't your ears cold too?"

There are a Couple of things you should know
When I'm born, I'm black
When I grow up, I'm black
When I go in the sun, I'm black
When I'm cold, I'm black
When I'm sick, I'm black
And when I die, I'm still black.
You white fella
When you're born, you're pink
When you grow up, you're white
When you go in the sun, you're red
When you're cold, you're blue
When you're scared, you're yellow
When you're sick, you're green
And when you die, you're gray.
And you have the nerve to call me colored???

There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor. "Not bad" said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!" said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick more...

This couple out on a date get a flat tire while driving along on a snowy night. They guy gets out to change the tire, but he doesn't have any gloves so before long he gets back in the car with the job half-done, his hands blue from the cold."Put your hands between my legs to warm them up," offers his gal. So he does, then gets out to finish the job.It's so cold, however, that he has to come back one more time to warm his hands, again between her legs.Finally, he finishes the job and gets back into the car, and is about to put the keys into the ignition when she asks, "Aren't your ears cold too?"