Collapsed Jokes

This professor of psychology at Harvard built a truth-telling chair. Every time someone sitting it lied, the bottom of the chair - essentially a trapdoor mechanism - collapsed sending the seated person flying to the ground. He knew it worked - he'd tried it. But he had to do some research before any one would believe him.
So he advertised in the USA Today for volunteers to come along and they'd get a fiver for their troubles, every hour. He received loads of replies and as such was able to take from any selection he liked. As a control for the experiment he decided to pick basketball fans, and invited three along for the first day of trials.
Anyway, the first day came and a Denver Nuggets fan arrived, he sat in the chair and began to speak. "I think the Nuggets are definitely a force to be reckoned with in the West..." and instantly the chair collapsed, sending him sprawling to the floor before he could carry on.
Next, an Orlando Magic fan arrived, he sat in more...

(Long)
It was the funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night, which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining them. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.

We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening. I tell you-in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, more...