Collision Jokes / Recent Jokes
This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with
Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October
1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval
operations, 10-10-95.CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to
avoid a collision.AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
north to avoid a collision.CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the south to avoid a collision.AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second
largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are
accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous
support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees
north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or
counter-measures will be undertaken to more...
This is the actual radio conversation of a US navy ship with Canadian
authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio
conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.
Americans:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a
collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your
course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert your course.
Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US Lincoln, the second largest ship
in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three
Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you
change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, thats one-five degrees
north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this
ship.
Canadians: This is a more...
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a U.S. naval
ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a
collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert
your course."
Canadians: "No. I say again, you divert your course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship
in the United States' Atlantic Fleet! We are accompanied by three destroyers,
three cruisers and numerous support vessels! I demand that you change your
course 15 degrees North, that's one-five degrees North, or counter-measures will
be undertaken to ensure the safety of this more...
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
A head-on collision occurred between a man and a woman. Both emerged from the scene intact while their cars were totally demolished. The woman said, "This is quite a predicament. We should drink a toast to celebrate this miracle." The man replied, "What a great idea; I just happen to have a bottle with me." With this he handed it to the man. The man downed half the bottle and handed it back. The woman would not take it back and said, "I think I will wait until after the police arrive to celebrate."
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.